Clarification please...

I've tried to think of a way to write about this specific topic without underlying tones of sarcasm and frustration, but I have never been good at hiding how I feel about a topic, and I don't think I am going to start.

So, whenever I move into a new ward, I am expected to walk around and make idle small talk with people that I don't know. Usually, questions like "where do you live?" or "what are you studying?" are asked. If you are like me, a common question that someone will immediately ask you is "where are your parents from?" or "what language is your last name in?"

I understand that many people are just curious and are trying to make conversation, but you can't help but feel like an outsider when people are constantly reminding you of the fact that yes, you look like your parents come from a different country.

I don't mind answering questions about my ethnicity, but I don't like it when questions about my race are the first or second question that I am asked. If someone does immediately ask me about my heritage, I feel like I am just getting tagged as "The Asian Girl, " and then I get shoved into a category labeled "The Token Minority Student." The problem with being labeled is that once you are labeled, you cannot break out of the label. Meaning, that no matter what I do, perceptions of me are controlled by others' views about my coloration, a trait that I have no control over.

I don't need people reminding me of the fact that I look different. I already know that I have brown skin and dark hair, and that I stick out like a pin. I don't enjoy answering questions about my eating habits, like whether I eat dogs, and that fact that many people assume that I eat a lot of rice. I don't even like rice that much.

I really dislike it when people attribute my likes/dislikes and successes my ethnicity. As stated before, I hate it when people assume that I eat a lot of rice. I hate it when people assume that I don't want to get married until I'm a lot older, or that I want a small family. I don't like it when people attribute my success in school to that fact that I am Asian. Deciding that my success is due to my ethnicity and the fact that "Asians have bigger brains" is an insult to the hours that I put into mastering that subject.

Is it really acceptable to make these assumptions and ask strange questions? If so, could someone please offer me clarification on why it is considered acceptable?

If anyone is wondering what triggered this post, let's just say that 5 years of being asked these questions, coupled with someone recently asking me why my eyes are so slanted, and another person constantly referencing my race every time he/she sees me, has really brought me to the end of my rope.

All, if not most, of my Asian friends have similar experiences and feelings. Here is a real conversation between my American-born friend Sayaka and a well meaning, but ignorant, person:

Person A: Where are you from?
Sayaka: Ohio
Person A: O-hoyo... Japan?
Sayaka: No... Ohio. Columbus, Ohio.

I am struggling to understand why people would think that asking these questions, or making those comments, are good ideas. It is frustrating to be asked questions that other "normal" people would not be asked. Being on the receiving end, I can't help but feel out of place and misunderstood when assumptions and judgments about me are made without factual basis.

If anyone can offer clarification about this, comments would be appreciated. I am just trying to figure out what people are thinking, or if they are even thinking about what they are saying.