Holiday fun

It's a sunny 75 degrees in Southern California today. In December.

The high in Boston was 44.

Why did I think leaving was a good idea?!

I'm trying not to think about the fact that I'm about to leave near perfect weather to go to a climate that will literally freeze my lungs if I breathe too much.

One of my best friends got married over the break. I was a bridesmaid and I was able to attend the sealing. I'm happy, but also a little sad. I think another friend is going to get married soon, meaning that of the original 5 girls that I befriended as a freshman, I will be the last bachelorette.

Weather and weddings aside, being home for the holidays is always.... interesting. I think I need to eat and breathe Chinese for a few days before I go home, otherwise I don't think I can survive future Christmas breaks. When my mom picked me up from the airport, I felt like I was being blitzkrieg-ed by the Mandarin language. My head hurt after about 15 minutes.

It's not because my parents can't speak English - it's because when we try to have more complicated conversations, sentences like this happen:

"Tomorrow, the doctor is going to seduce [sedate] me."

"I really liked the movie Conception [Inception]."

"I don't think this raping paper [wrapping paper] is the right kind."

This phenomenon doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it's pretty hilarious.

And no Asian-American Christmas holiday would be complete without a trip to a Chinese restaurant (I can't believe I just wrote that). My family and another family went to a Chinese buffet (so Asian). The other family also brought their daughter's Korean boyfriend with them to dinner. My dad referred to him as The Korean the whole night. So, he would say things like, "Hey, everyone and The Korean, do you want a drink?" and "Hey, The Korean, are you still hungry?" His name is Allen. But to my dad, he's The Korean.

This kid also did not speak any Chinese, so he didn't really understand what was going on most of the time. And people kept asking him if he ate enough, which is just what Chinese people do out of courtesy.

After talking to him in English, I learned that the Chinese sentence for "Have you eaten enough?" means "Go f____ yourself" in Korean. So, the whole night, my parents, and the other parents were asking him "Have you eaten enough?" when all this kid heard was "Go f____ yourself." If my dad was speaking, he heard "Hey, Korean, f____ off."

As if that wasn't bad enough, the restaurant was celebrating a few birthdays, so in the middle of dinner this cheesy pseudo-karaoke music starts playing, and some people with thick Asian accents start singing the happy birthday song. Here is what I actually heard:

Happy birf-day to you

Happy birf-day to you

Happy birf-day my dear friend

Happy birf-day to you

This song played at least 3 times during dinner. I hope the "dear friends" had great birf-days.

After dinner, we went back to my house, drank tea, and then listened to my mom talk about how to used to HATE Koreans, but now doesn't hate them. Did I mention how The Korean was there for the entire conversation about how my mom used to hate Koreans?

I thought this entire night was hilarious, ridiculous, and extremely politically incorrect. Which is exactly what I expect to come home to every time I am back.

I love my parents. But, sometimes I am afraid that the second a guy sees the Chinese newspapers on the tables, watches Chinese news with my dad, and sits through a dinner like the one mentioned above, he will just run right out the door. I wonder how I am going to find someone that that has a good enough sense of humor to put up with all of the quirks that come with an Asian family. Or someone who at least is open-minded enough to understand that normal is a relative concept. Or someone who just isn't xenophobic.

Anyways, I hope everyone had a great holiday break. Mine was certainly full of fun. Hopefully 2012 is just as exciting.